I cannot imagine
it. I expect it feels like a bottle of fizzy drink; every day you get shaken,
sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, and you try desperately hard to contain
everything, making sure that as the pressure builds and builds, you make sure
the cap is screwed on tighter and tighter. You carry on with your daily
routine, putting a smile on your face and pretending like everything is ok.
Does anyone else suffer with this intensely exhausting accumulation of
thoughts? Obviously not- nobody else is talking about it…
When I say I
cannot imagine it, that’s a lie. I know exactly how it feels. I know that it
feels like a bottle of fizzy drink. I know that it feels like you are the only
person having to deal with the incredibly draining thoughts. I spent 9 months
training to find someone, something or anything to make me realise that I was
not the only person going through this. But there was nothing.
And that’s when I
found it. Courage. Sitting on my bed in the hospital, I turned to my parents
and said that I was going to tell everybody that I was suffering with Anorexia
Nervosa and that I was currently hospitalised because of my condition. I felt
like I had nothing to loose, I wasn’t ashamed and I figured I would rather get
in there first before rumours were spread about my disappearance.
“As most of you will have gathered by
now, I am currently in Grimsby Hospital receiving treatment for Anorexia. I
just want to thank everybody for their support over the past few weeks, and for
all the lovely cards and messages you have sent. I am in the right place now to
get this sorted and get my life back on track.”
There it was- the best
post I have ever made on Facebook and the start of a brand new journey. I
decided right then that I never wanted anybody to feel the same way that I did
and I was going to be open and honest about my mental health difficulties. I signed
the Time to Talk pledge, spoke on the radio numerous times, wrote newspaper
articles, started a blog and made speaking about mental health become a part of
my life. People approached me in person, over Facebook or through my blog to
ask questions, talk about their own experiences and thank me for sharing mine.
I heard stories of people not understanding what they were experiencing, feeling
alone and not knowing what to do. Can you imagine your brother, parent or best
friend feeling like that?
You can start
that conversation. Text a friend you haven’t heard from in a while and ask them
how they are, or make a hot drink for someone and make time to have a
conversation. Whichever way you approach it, just remember that the most
important thing that you can do is listen. It can sometimes be hard to know
what to say, and even as someone that has been through a diagnosis myself, I
still worry about what I say to other people that I have conversations with.
However, I have found the advice and tips on Student Minds ‘Look After Your
Mate’ page and on the Time to Talk website to be extremely helpful. From
thinking about where is the right place to start a conversation to considering
how you phrase your responses; there are so many useful resources available to help
you make that important step for someone you care about. But don’t be scared or
worried about what you say, the crucial detail is that you are there; you have
taken time out to speak to that person and you have given them an opportunity
to talk.
‘Courage is what
it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and
listen.’ – Winston Churchill
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